Fun with Trumpian Memes

I found this one on Facebook posted replied to by friend I haven't seen in couple years, but we argue with each other online daily.   He replied: "Maybe if the pilot stuck to just flight service announcements, he wouldn't rile up the passengers so much."  

But it got me thinking. What if the Donald Trump was a commercial airline pilot? What would his in flight announcements be like?

A few follow:

"Folks, from the cockpit. We are going to experience turbulence ahead.  Unfasten your seat belts.  I'm hearing there is a better chance you will experience periods of weightlessness. NASA's been wasting your tax money, if go into free fall and you don't puke, we have some SpaceX applications we can hand out."

"Hello from the cockpit.  I'd just like to remind coach passengers crossing into first class to use the toilet to stay in your area. Most of you are drug addicts, rapists and low life's, that's why you have sardine section tickets. Elite flyers, you already have more space, if you wanted your own toilet you should have paid for that too."

"This is the cockpit again. Can the Elite flyer club members sitting in exit rows 20 and 21 please unfasten their seat belts, get up and punch the passenger in seat 23C. He's Chinese and brought stinky day old food on the plane. Yeah, just punch him. Get him off the plane."

"Ah this is your Captain. The FAA is diverting us around a thunderstorm. We'll be late getting into New York.  You can blame this on the FAA. If pilots ran the FAA we'd never be late. We'd never have bad weather either if pilots ran the National Weather Service. We'd take the direct root, and you all could be astronauts."

"Folks this is Captain Trump. Attending our first class cabin is my daughter Ivanka and Miss Slovenia 2017.  I could look at them all day.  In coach, well, she's a bit flat chested... I am just saying."

"This is the captain. I'm sure some of you people in Sardine Class, rows 21 and back are good people, but several noxious farts have been reported. I'm going to open the back exit door. Oxygen masks will drop for rows 20 forward.  Those not being given a mask hold your breath. I'm told this will only take a few seconds."